Thursday, December 1, 2011


I'm sorry if I was shouting. It's just hard to hear above the siren. What siren?  Oh, that's right. You can't hear it.

I started this blog to record stories I wanted to be sure were remembered. But also to let off steam about my MS. Today is one of those MS days.

I am dead tired. While that's not unusual with MS. It is right now because I just got up from my nap. Not only does the MS make me fatigued enough to need a daily nap. But it often messes with it because of my tinnitus.

One symptom of my MS is a sometimes terrible ringing in my ears. When it started it was just in my right ear. A few months ago my left ear joined in the party. I don't think the level of the ringing changes really, only my ability to ignore or hide it.

When it is really bothersome... well painful really ... are times like today when I really wanted some sleep. I have my own fire alarm going off in my head. But at a slightly higher pitch. It's one of those kind of sounds that makes me wince.

I'd love to turn it off or at least turn it down. Even though I know it's caused by nerve damage and that I'm not actually hearing it, I do try to plug my ears. I will turn on a sleep sound app on my phone and try to concentrate on that. Of course, when I'm the most tired is when it seems to be at its loudest. Like today.

We're going to a church dinner tonight. And I very much want to go and have a good time. But I'm already afraid that I won't catch a lot of the conversation because I'll feel like saying "Can you please speak up so I can hear you over the siren?"

But Oh, that's right. They won't be able to hear the siren.

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